p mo nagawa ito Arnold”, accompanied by a single

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It
was past 6 pm, and I’m resting my bare feet hanging on the balcony of
our dormitory. I was with Pocholo at that time, talking about stuff
no one will understand. Our conversation was interrupted when I
heared someone call my name. “Kuya Arnold”, a mysterious
voice said. Before I could turn and see the person calling my name,
my subconcious warned me of something. I was unable to interpret it
at that time, until I turned. “Tawag daw po kayo ni Lany, sa may
nippa hut daw po”, the mysterious voice said. That was I
realized that it was Lany’s friend who called me. “Okay, papunta
na ako”, I said.

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I
left my friend hanging from our conversation, but I know he knows how
important it is for me to leave. I walked pass several groups of
people, waltzing smoothly between different groups of people who are
all exhausted because of the event held that day. Atlast I arrived at
the area, where she was waiting for me. My gut had an awful feeling,
because as I approached the hut I saw someone trying to comfort her,
like she just cried recently and she needs help. Me, trying to be
levelheaded at that time, entered the hut and asked her friend to
leave us a minute. Quickly her friend left, and it was just me and
Lany who stayed at that area.

I
sat next to her, trying to adjust to the heavy environment. That
moment gave me goosebumps as the wind blew which was mixed with the
vapor present in the air during evening. I tried opening up the
conversation, but it failed miserably. The ice was finally broken
when she engaged in conversation. The first word she told me, was the
only word I could comprehend for the following 5 or 10 minutes. She
said, “Paano mo nagawa ito Arnold”, accompanied by a single
tear which was a sign that she was hurt. Our conversation went on,
and I could feel from her words, that she was in pain. I wish to help
her, maybe beat that guy to the ground who gave her such emotional
pain. I wish I was there when that guy said those words, and punch
him in the face. I wish, I wish, I wish. The problem was, I wouldn’t
be able to do that. Because that guy is also my friend, my companion,
my brother, my father, my bestfriend. That guy was me.

Yes,
it was me. I did those to her. I’m responsible for her sorrowful
tears dripping through her face as the night went on. I did all those
things, and I don’t know why. I asked for forgiveness, I asked for
another chance. But, at the very end, her last words were “Thank
you, Arnold. Thanks to you, I now realized who you are. I now
realized who I really am”.

I
was confused, giving her that questioning face. I was confused how
this all turned out to be good somehow. That wasn’t the case ’till I
finally got what she meant – I changed her. What I did will never be
forgotten, those tears she released were proof that she loved me.
Those were also proof that things will never be the same again,
especially her.